How to Be Romantic

No one is born romantic.  But like most things in life, being romantic is something that can be learned.  Although romantic gestures may seem like they come easily to some people that is only because they’ve had lots of practice and because they are in tune with what motivates the opposite sex.  Because that’s all that is involved.  Being romantic involves finding out what your partner wants (not what they need!), and then finding a unique way to meet those wants.  Pretty simple, huh?

Let’s get one thing cleared up first.  Being romantic isn’t about some grand extravagant gesture like flying first class to Paris for a 2 week romantic blitz.  It’s about the little things.  Little things are simple things that you do for your loved one. Despite the fact that they are "little" they can mean a lot because it illustrates that you took time out of your busy life just to show them how much you care.

One thing that most people want, male and female, is to feel special and loved.  It’s how you show them that you love them, where the challenge comes in.  Some people feel loved when they are told repeatedly that they are loved.  Others feel loved when they are touched frequently.  And others see love in gestures and everyday kindnesses.  Of course, there are others that may need all three of the above to really feel loved and secure but usually there is one need that dominates.  You need to find out what your partner needs and then you can begin working out what method you will use to romance them.

Not sure what your loved one prefers?  Do an experiment or three and see how they respond?  You’ll very quickly work it out.

What can you do if your loved one wants to hear how much you love them?  You need to tell them.  But don’t just tell them and have it coming off like some kind of rote response to hello or goodbye or please pass the pepper.  Think about different ways you can get your message across.  You could:
. Post them a good old fashioned love letter
. Send a romantic email
. Text them a love message
. Place a love note somewhere it will be found easily, in their car or lunch bag or under their pillow or taped to the phone receiver or their computer
. For the kid in all of us!  Use multi-colored, sidewalk chalk to draw a BIG heart in red and write “I love you" in the middle of the heart.  Do this someplace prominent like your driveway so that when your partner comes home they will see it right away.
. Make a long list of the many reasons why you love your partner and have the list framed and present it to them.
. If you don’t live together, call your loved one just to say goodnight and recite a favorite love poem over the phone.
. Give your loved one a compliment, about how great they look or what their smile does to you


If your loved one needs regular physical contact to feel loved you can:
. Give them a massage – backs and feet at the end of a work week is always well received!
. Keep in physical contact as often as you can, for example, when watching TV together, eating dinner (it doesn’t just have to be hands, you can make sure your feet or legs are touching)
. Give them random hugs
. Put your arm around your loved one in public
. Hold hands as you walk side by side
. Cuddle up in your pj’s and watch a romantic movie together
. Make sure you kiss them when you get home and kiss before you leave

If your actions speak louder than words for your loved one then you’ll want to focus on gestures that express your feelings.  You can try:
. While your partner showers, heat up his or her towel in the dryer.
. Have flowers delivered to partner at work.
. Surprise your partner by arriving home with their favorite drink, snack, or ice-cream.
. Arrange for an intimate lunch date with your partner.  Then afterward, send a virtual card. Tell them how much you enjoyed lunch together.
. Call your partner in the middle of the day to discuss your romantic plans for that evening.
. Write your own love coupon offering an hour of your time as their personal love slave.
. Cook a favorite meal for your partner and then eat it, slowly, by candlelight.
. Pick a bouquet of wild flowers and present them with a kiss.
. Call spontaneously at their work to say “I am thinking of you.”

If they like all of the above then you can really go wild and mix it all up together.  The only limit is your own imagination and the desire to make it happen.

Yoga for mothers

I am not a Yoga teacher. I’ve only attended about 3 Yoga classes although my gym offers Yoga classes. So, why am I writing about Yoga when I know nothing about it? I am curious – that’s my nature. And through the years, this curiosity has helped me develop a career as a freelance graphic designer and writer. And it is through a very weird type of Yoga (my own type, or whatever I thought was Yoga at that point in time) that helped me swim ashore when I was teetering between drowning in the sea of depression after giving birth to my sons.

Both times, I was hit badly and constantly turned to the bottle for a solution. The bottle never will be a solution and yet, I hoped it would be.

Yoga and the soon-to-be-mother
There’s all this hype about Yoga that I didn’t fully understand before – what’s all this clamor about Yoga for pregnancy?? What’s the big deal? You have a big belly, retch half the time, have a sudden liking for pickle and have to wear your husband’s clothing….you need Yoga to help you deal with all that?

But of course, I only began the understand the benefits of Yoga as a mother when I started going for the classes, read about them in books, magazines and websites. This amazing method can help mothers regain their physical strength and sends them into a journey of self-discovery and improvement. Instead of helping you deal with others, in Yoga, everything starts from within. Therefore, to solve a problem, you have to go inside.

And inside a mother, it’s always a battle zone…and it’s tumultuous half the time. Pizza or no pizza? Sex or no sex tonight? What kind of mother will I be? Will I sprain my own child’s fingers when I try to put his/her clothes on? With the kind of bizarre thinking (and hormones) going on inside our mind and our body, mothers often have a  difficulty finding peace. Your doctor will tell you time and time again that although nutrition is important, finding peace, quiet and calm in yourself and in your life is just important for an expectant mother.

Yoga for the regular mother
Considering the fact that Yoga can help bring calm into calamity, it’s obviously a good choice for you to try out Yoga if you’re thinking of starting an exercise program. Better yet, join a gym…which is what I did. I used to scoff at people who join gyms and judging from the loud dance music, I remember thinking to myself… “Yikes…gym is just a sorry excuse for a disco. Instead of serving peanuts, they serve fruit mixes. Instead of alcohol, they serve bottled water. But everyone’s trying to get into a social thing in the gym. It’s a social club!”

And as a mother, I don’t have the time to join a social club.

But I was wrong. As soon as I gave the 10-day free classes trial, I was hooked. No makeup, no dressup (oh, the younger gym-goers still dress up to the nines and apply mascara for gym) and no pretense. I go to the gym and attend the Yoga class to sweat – to end up looking ugly but feeling damn good!

Mothers can open up their minds and free up their hearts after Yoga
Yoga has this tranquilizing effect on people that can hardly be explained with words. It has to be felt. It’s like you’re striking those poses, stretching those muscles and bending over backwards…and all this while, your mind is opening up and all impure thoughts are just flying out of it.

Yoga can be like ‘taking out the trash’.

And this can be good for the whole family, especially the kids, as well. After a session of uninterrupted Yoga, you’ll feel renewed. Even a grumpy, sleeping, tired and beaten-out mother will have more energy to spend time with the kids. Instead of feeling disgruntled and trapped, a mother can use Yoga to actually find an opening, a release that helps relax, not only the body, but the mind as well.

I don’t know about you…but I am going for more classes because I have seen the benefits. Yoga can do a whole lot for the ordinary non-married kidless people….imagine what it can do for a mother.

Diamond Certificates

A diamond certificate is also known as a 

Diamond Grading Report. This report comes 

from the Gemological Institute of America 

(GIA), and you should require this report 

when you are purchasing a diamond.

With a diamond certificate, you can verify 

the color, cut, carat, weight, and clarity of the 

diamond. You don’t have to worry about a 

diamond dealer telling you anything less than 

the truth, because the certificate comes 

from the GIA – not the dealer. You may be 

required to pay for the certificate, but the 

cost is usually low, and in many cases, it 

will help you negotiate a better price on the 

diamond – or keep you from purchasing a 

lower quality diamond altogether.

If you buy a high quality diamond, and then 

later decide to sell the diamond, you will 

need to have the certificate, or you will have 

a hard time selling it to someone else. 

Furthermore, you can use the Diamond 

Grading Report to look up the wholesale 

value of the diamond in question. Use the 

guide that is used by the diamond cutting 

industry.

With the Certificate, or Diamond Grading 

Report, there won’t be any doubts when you 

are trying to purchase a diamond. You can 

easily find out what the diamond is worth. 

This will prevent you from overpaying, and it 

can prevent a seller from under-charging as 

well. 

A copy of the Diamond Grading Report 

should be given to your insurance company 

as well, when you insure the diamond. This 

provides absolute, unquestionable proof of 

the value of the diamond should it be stolen 

in the future. Insurance companies cannot 

argue with the report.

Avoid diamond dealers who seem reluctant

to provide a certificate! Also avoid sellers 

who tell you that a certificate diamond will 

cost you more – the only additional cost 

should be the cost of the certificate, which 

is low. If the dealer doesn’t want to provide 

a certificate, then you don’t want to do 

business with that dealer.

Don’t accept certificates from Gemological 

Laboratories other than GIA. There are many 

fly-by-night Gemological labs these days, but 

in the end, GIA has been established as the 

most respectable and trustworthy – not to 

mention oldest – of the lot. So avoid dealers 

who don’t want to use GIA for certification 

purposes as well.

Don’t buy an expensive diamond without 

paying the extra cost of the certificate. If a 

dealer tries to convince you to make the 

purchase without the certificate, or if they 

want to use a company other than GIA, you 

can be sure that the dealer has probably 

greatly inflated the price of the diamond – 

they have something that they are hiding 

from you.

Why Do Stretch Marks Form?

Inevitably, no matter how beautiful your skin may be today, you will develop stretch marks. Although painless, stretch marks are both unsightly and a potential source of embarrassment. For the most part, you are stuck with stretch marks unless you opt for expensive laser therapy or perhaps dermabrasion. But why exactly do stretch marks form in the first place?

Your skin is made up of 3 layers. The outer layer is known as the epidermis and its main purpose is to prevent foreign agents from invading your body. The second layer is the dermis and it is comprised of collagen and elastic fibers which combine to give your skin its smooth appearance. The last layer is called the hypodermis and it is mostly made up of fat and various tissues.

Stretch marks, also known as stria atrophica, form in the dermis layer of your skin. In fact, stretch marks are literally tears in the dermis. Now stretch marks should not be confused with scars, although they do appear quite similar when looking at them. Scars are made of fibrotic tissue which is simply not present in stretch marks.

As stated earlier, the dermis produces elastic fibers. These special fibers are what allows your skin to stretch—basically, they give the skin its elasticity. Stretch marks form when the skin grows faster than the elastic fibers can handle. Rapid growth weakens a skin’s elasticity and can actually break the connective fibers holding it together.

Now it is possible for stretch marks to form even when rapid growth is not present. This happens generally because of poor diet. Improper nutrition will deprive the body of the raw materials it needs to maintain healthy, elastic skin. Smoking is another factor that may cause stretch marks because it will also cause the skin’s elasticity to weaken. However, some growth will be necessary for stretch marks to form even when poor nutrition or smoking are factors.

Stretch marks are very common problems associated with pregnancy because this is a period of rapid growth for women. Any period of rapid weight gain will most likely be accompanied by stretch marks and they are common factors in obesity. However, it is possible for heredity to be a factor as some people have proven more prone to stretch marks than others.

The discoloring present with new stretch marks will eventually fade. Eventually, a stretch mark will appear almost identical to a scar. However, as stated earlier, stretch marks and scars are very different phenomena and caused by very different factors.

So, while stretch marks can be embarrassing and unsightly at first, the fact remains that they are painless. Many of us acquire these unsightly stretch marks as we lose our baby fat and enter into puberty and a period of rapid growth. Therefore, they are nothing to be overly self-conscious about because we all end up with them at some point. The best defense against stretch marks is eating a healthy, well-balanced diet which should keep the skin healthy and prevent periods of rapid weight gain.