Flowers, The Language Of Love

Flowers Truly Reach Your Soul.

Flowers are a heartfelt, natural way to lift our spirits. They can provide a smile for a tired face or brighten a room for a convalescent. Just imagine your favourite flower. Are you smiling yet? You are obviously in a better mood.

There is not a doubt that beautiful surroundings provide us with a favourite environment that helps us thrive. Flowers are an elementary and affordable way to add a splash of color and emotion into your life.

Tropical flowers are an exciting new change from traditional floral gifts like roses , and with modern shipping methods a tropical bouquet is available worldwide. Their massive size and vibrant colors produce an impressive gift for favourite occasions like Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, birthdays and anniversaries.

Flowers can be purchased from local florists or even "Grower Direct" services that ship them worldwide. If purchasing flowers to be shipped, it is vital to ensure that someone is waiting to pick up the delivery and that it is not left with the mail on a back porch in the sun all afternoon until someone comes home from at six oçlock. Flowers are shipped without any water to sustain them, and hours of neglect on top of the shipping time can take days off their lifespan.

If you acquire tropical flowers like heliconias or even gingers, or even if you were lucky enought to live in the tropics and have them for your garden, just remember a few select tips to help them thrive and to extend their shelf life as cut flowers.

Caring for Cut Tropical Flowers.

1. Water your plants well and give them a big drink before cutting. This is important for foliage plants as well because some species “drink” incredibly little after cutting. Instead, they live off their stored sap. Tropical plants have adapted to their natural environment which means frequent however short periods of massive tropical downpour.

Look at the flower heads and notice how the petals are “cupped” to catch and store as much water as possible. These plants drink from the top and like being showered with water. Look at the pattern on the leaves. The ridges channel water down to the stem where it's absorbed into the many layers of the plant.

2. If your flowers have been out of water for any length of time after cutting, submerge them totally in the bath for half an hour prior to placing them in a vase.

3. Cut 3 to 4 inches off the stem and then place them in a tall vase FULL of clean water.

4. Employ a spray bottle to mist them at least twice a day.

5. Change the water and trim a new end on the stems each 2nd or even third day. You are able to double the vase life of your cut flowers by applying these simple techniques.

I Have 50 Orgasms A Day

Some women feel that one is enough and others find that their clitoris is too sensitive after their first orgasm and their just not interested in having any more.

Men have a refactory period after ejaculating which makes multiple orgasms more difficult for them to achieve. Women on the other hand don't have a refactory period, after their first orgasm they are in the plateau stage and stay aroused for longer and if stimulation is continued more orgasms are possible.

Sequential Multiples:

These are a series of climaxes that come close together with an interruption in arousal. The woman might need a few seconds to relax and then stimulation can continue, with another orgasm occuring within minutes. A likely situation for this to happen is if the clitoris is stimulated manually or orally until climax is reached, followed by another climax during intercourse.

Some women might find that their clitoris is very sensitive after their first orgasm. If direct stimulation is too intense, try indirect stimulation on another part of the genitals. It might help to take deep breaths, rocking your pelvis in time with your breathing, while the energy builds up again in your genitals. Within a few minutes you could find that over stimulation will give way to pleasure.


Serial Multiples:

These are orgasms that come one after the other without interruption in arousal. These are only seconds apart and may feel like on continuous orgasm with multiple peak points. This is likely to be achieved if the clitoris and G-spot are being stimulated simultaneously.

Some women find that their second or third orgasms are more powerful than the first, and some find that their orgasms become progressively less intense.

Valentine Candle Gift Basket

Come Valentine Day and one can see chaos among lovers in selecting a gift for their partner. Valentine Candle Gift Basket can be one of your perfect gifts for your loving partner. With Valentine Candle Gift Basket you can easily communicate your love, emotion and care for your partner.

The basket includes scented and non-scented candles, oil warmer, candle holder as well as non-candle products. Candles are one of the unique and pure gifts that you can give to your partner. With the help of Valentine Candle Gift Basket you can make your next valentine very special and memorable.

You may prefer your nearby Candle Gift Shop, but wait, this time why don't you purchase valentine candle gift basket online? Candle Gift Idea will surely enhance your valentine day. It is absolutely cheaper and has the quality of uniqueness.

 The gift basket varies as per your convenience and your budget. But the commodity that you get is absolutely designed for your satisfaction. You may have heard that candle is a symbol of truth and faith. So why don't you present candle gift basket to your dear ones?

Each Valentine Candle Gift Basket is designed uniquely so as to communicate your feelings. The candle's shape and categories also varies if you wish for.

The valentine candle gift basket that you receive through the online services is one of the top collections and has an excellent fragrance quality with superb candles and holders. Each basket is wrapped nicely and carries a message that you want to communicate.

The candle when burn creates romantic and lovely atmosphere that one desires for. It is the best opportunity to pamper your partner with unique valentine candle gift basket and to light your future. The valentine candles, which are offered in gift basket is manufactured by reputed manufacture and have delicate and unique designs.

Friendship And Love

Friendship and love. Both are so much related to each other. And both are so dissimilar!

 What are the differences between friendship and love?

 Is platonic friendship possible between persons of opposite sex?

 Let us try and understand.

What is friendship? 

Why do we call a person our friend? 

When do we call someone a very good friend? 

If we care for a person, if we are always ready to help that person and if we share most of our thoughts with a person, they are our good friends. We can always count upon our good friends in an emergency. We are always sure that our friend will understand why we acted in a certain way. We need not explain anything to our very good friends. The friendship is so deep and the relationship is so intimate, that most of the things are automatically understood by our friends.

What about love? In a relationship of deep love, all the sharing that we discussed above are taken for granted. But love transcends all this. During love, we are attached with a particular person, while in friendship, one may have many friends. A loving relationship makes one so much attached to the other, that one gets pained if his/her beloved is hurt! Love also involves a physical element. Friendship does not have that. This is a vital difference. Nature gives us love so that the specie can go forward. Nature does not give us friendship.

Your heart beats will never increase in anticipation of meeting your friend. You will not lie awake at night thinking about your friend. You will not feel totally lost, if you don't meet your friend for a few days. You will not have dreams in your eyes thinking about your friend. But in love, you will do all this and much more. Indeed, there is no comparison between love and friendship.

Great Relationships Aren't An Accident

Do you find that initiating romantic connections seems more
complicated than ever? If you do, you are not alone!

Modern dating needs a major overhaul and almost a manual whom to ask, when to ask, where to ask, how to ask for a date! Our world has changed so much that the customary way to meet someone simply does not work anymore.

If you are a busy individual, and who isn't today, there is probably no time in your life to waste with "hit and miss" random dating experiences. To complicate matters we now have the internet as a tempting and easy way to meet someone.

Reality today is much different and more challenging.

The first thing to understand that is different is the myth of "If it is meant to be, it will happen." Very few relationships happen that way anymore. Today, you can make it happen.

Next, realize that good relationships do not occur when you are not looking. Romance by chance is a bygone thing and truth be told, soemthing that never really existed. Today, you must empower yourself to take control over your personal happiness.

Everything in our daily life is more or less structured and planned. so should your search for a great realtionship. Nowadays you have to be pro-active to succeed in anything: education, career, finances, creating leisure time.

It only follow that you should become active in the pursuit of your personal happiness! This includes a great long-term realtionship.

Consider using a resource such as a matching, prescreening service for introductions. The stigma of these groups is long gone with the past. There are many reputable ones to use.

In choosing a service ask questions, screen them well and make sure they specialize in "introductions." Taking this kind of proactive approach to finding a solid relationship in today's world is well worth your time.

How to Be Romantic

No one is born romantic.  But like most things in life, being romantic is something that can be learned.  Although romantic gestures may seem like they come easily to some people that is only because they’ve had lots of practice and because they are in tune with what motivates the opposite sex.  Because that’s all that is involved.  Being romantic involves finding out what your partner wants (not what they need!), and then finding a unique way to meet those wants.  Pretty simple, huh?

Let’s get one thing cleared up first.  Being romantic isn’t about some grand extravagant gesture like flying first class to Paris for a 2 week romantic blitz.  It’s about the little things.  Little things are simple things that you do for your loved one. Despite the fact that they are "little" they can mean a lot because it illustrates that you took time out of your busy life just to show them how much you care.

One thing that most people want, male and female, is to feel special and loved.  It’s how you show them that you love them, where the challenge comes in.  Some people feel loved when they are told repeatedly that they are loved.  Others feel loved when they are touched frequently.  And others see love in gestures and everyday kindnesses.  Of course, there are others that may need all three of the above to really feel loved and secure but usually there is one need that dominates.  You need to find out what your partner needs and then you can begin working out what method you will use to romance them.

Not sure what your loved one prefers?  Do an experiment or three and see how they respond?  You’ll very quickly work it out.

What can you do if your loved one wants to hear how much you love them?  You need to tell them.  But don’t just tell them and have it coming off like some kind of rote response to hello or goodbye or please pass the pepper.  Think about different ways you can get your message across.  You could:
. Post them a good old fashioned love letter
. Send a romantic email
. Text them a love message
. Place a love note somewhere it will be found easily, in their car or lunch bag or under their pillow or taped to the phone receiver or their computer
. For the kid in all of us!  Use multi-colored, sidewalk chalk to draw a BIG heart in red and write “I love you" in the middle of the heart.  Do this someplace prominent like your driveway so that when your partner comes home they will see it right away.
. Make a long list of the many reasons why you love your partner and have the list framed and present it to them.
. If you don’t live together, call your loved one just to say goodnight and recite a favorite love poem over the phone.
. Give your loved one a compliment, about how great they look or what their smile does to you


If your loved one needs regular physical contact to feel loved you can:
. Give them a massage – backs and feet at the end of a work week is always well received!
. Keep in physical contact as often as you can, for example, when watching TV together, eating dinner (it doesn’t just have to be hands, you can make sure your feet or legs are touching)
. Give them random hugs
. Put your arm around your loved one in public
. Hold hands as you walk side by side
. Cuddle up in your pj’s and watch a romantic movie together
. Make sure you kiss them when you get home and kiss before you leave

If your actions speak louder than words for your loved one then you’ll want to focus on gestures that express your feelings.  You can try:
. While your partner showers, heat up his or her towel in the dryer.
. Have flowers delivered to partner at work.
. Surprise your partner by arriving home with their favorite drink, snack, or ice-cream.
. Arrange for an intimate lunch date with your partner.  Then afterward, send a virtual card. Tell them how much you enjoyed lunch together.
. Call your partner in the middle of the day to discuss your romantic plans for that evening.
. Write your own love coupon offering an hour of your time as their personal love slave.
. Cook a favorite meal for your partner and then eat it, slowly, by candlelight.
. Pick a bouquet of wild flowers and present them with a kiss.
. Call spontaneously at their work to say “I am thinking of you.”

If they like all of the above then you can really go wild and mix it all up together.  The only limit is your own imagination and the desire to make it happen.

5 Secret Ways to Show Your Love to Your Partner

There are many ways to express love to your partner other than quoting the actual words "I Love You." Usually the fire in relationships dies down after a while and the feeling of your heart pounding with the excitement of being with your significant other is not felt nearly as often, or even at all.

So, how do we get back that love, passion and warm feeling that wraps around us and penetrate our thoughts in the beginning of a relationship?

Many say actions speak louder than words so below I have listed 5 secrets of seduction to help you show your partner how much you truly love them:

1. Flirt

This is a light-hearted seduction with the intent of conveying love! Why not send a sexy text message or email while you are at work? This reminds the other person that you are thinking about him or her. It also increases the intensity of love so that you actually look forward to seeing each other when you return home from work.

2. Candles

According to Feng Shui, the seduction candle is red and the ingredients are musk, patchouli, pine, cedar and juniper. This secret of seduction can put back the romance in your relationships. Why not fill your room with scented candles and turn off the lights just to relax in each others arms? The extra effort goes a very long way!

3. Food

It is said that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," however this is also thought to be the secret of successful seduction of women too. Show your love by setting up a surprise dinner for two. Add flowers, soft music and incense to create a seductive love nest. Aphrodisiac foods such as oysters, chili, chocolate, figs, honey and walnuts are said to aid in the stimulation of your loved ones hormones.

4. Love Letters and Poems

Why not leave a love note for your loved one? This can be posted in the bathroom or kitchen before you leave to work. You could also leave a nice love poem under the pillow so that your partner finds this at night before bedtime or first thing in the morning. Or send a hand written love letter to their work address. This will stir up the feeling of love in the privacy of your bedroom as well as in your relationship. Inspiration can be taken from music or love poem books.

5. Get Away

There can be a lot of distractions in your relationship such as work or children. There are many short vacations available for the weekend or just for a day. You may arrange a trip to the Health Spa or a Hotel so that you are in a different environment than usual where you can both relax and concentrate on each other.

Using the five techniques above to show your significant other just how much you truly love them will certainly spice up your love life, strengthen your relationship, and keep you and your partner happy for years to come!

Berkeley Springs Retreats

Life on the East Coast can be hectic, stressful and overwhelming at times. Taking a break at Berkeley Springs retreats is just the answer for shaking off the rut you are in.

Berkeley Springs Retreats

Berkeley Springs is a town in West Virginia that is well-known for its relaxing retreats and unique art-filled atmosphere. Berkeley Springs is located just ninety minutes from the Washington DC and Baltimore metro areas, and is a great getaway spot for those who are looking to relax.

There are five Berkeley Springs retreats that are considered to be full-service retreats, which means that they cater to all of your rejuvenation needs. Whether you're in need of a full day of treatments and massages, or just a facial, these retreats can fulfill your wishes. The Berkeley Springs retreats that are full-service are: Atasia Spa, The Bath House Massage and Health Center, Berkeley Springs State Park, Coolfont Resort and Origin Spa.

If you're looking to have rejuvenation and relaxation at one of the Berkeley Springs retreats that includes a place to stay, you'll want to book your appointments at the Coolfont Resort or Origin Spa. Both of these exquisite retreats also include inns to stay at on the premises. Coolfont Resort offers "residential spa programs", like one which helps with smoking cessation, and also offers a "spa menu" for those watching their diets. Along with these services, the Coolfont Resort also offers a range of spa treatments such as massage, facials, wraps, manicures, pedicures and even hair styling!

The Origin Spa, located at the Inn and Spa at Berkeley Springs, is a luxurious spa that caters to your every need. The spa is connected to the Inn, which is a historic inn with 62 guest rooms and five suites available for overnight stays. They offer the area's famed mineral baths, as well as massages and other spa delights. Also available are spa getaway and "Spa for a Day" packages.

In all, Berkeley Springs retreats offer the best of relaxation in a location that's close enough to be convenient, but far enough away to help you get away from it all. Book your packages early, however, as retreats such as the Origin Spa recommend you book four weeks in advance, to be assured you get the treatments you want and that you won't be disappointed.  Appointments book fast at these great retreats.

Are You Lovable?

This looks like an awkward question. We will confess that he/she is not lovable? But the truth is that many of us are not lovable at all. Can you imagine of a small kid? A kid is always lovable. Why? If we can answer that question, we will solve the puzzle about whether we are lovable or not.

A kid is innocent. Knows nothing and is totally defenseless. You love a kid, because he/ she wants you to protect him/her. You love a kid because of innocence. You love the kid because of the smiling face. You love the kid because the kid has no malice towards anyone. Does not desire any thing bad for any one. Recognizes no enemies and has faith in everyone. The kid is totally free of all negative emotions. That is why we all love a kid.

How many of us are like that? How many of us keep a smile on our face forever? How many of us are free of negative emotions? Not many. Agreed that we are grown ups and can not be like a kid. But surely we can borrow some good qualities from the kid. How about forgiving everyone? How about not getting angry at all? How about having faith in everyone unless proven otherwise? How about loving everyone? How about becoming non judgmental?

Once we acquire some of these qualities, we will become lovable. Believe me that it is that simple. All of your friends and colleagues will begin liking you more. You will get love from unexpected quarters. You will get your dream darling in a little time, after you transform yourself.

Men Want A Classy Woman

Ladies, this one is for you. Your mother always told you “Don’t give away the farm.” Yet men have been saying, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” It’s a paradox; women think they need to put out, or they’ll lose their man. Men don’t want a woman who puts out; at least not long term they don’t. Are you the type of woman who men take home to bed; or the type who men take home to meet Mom?

One man described it this way, “When I’m talking to a woman, either on-line, on the phone, or in person, who do you think is the first person to bring up sex? Almost always it’s the woman. I don’t. I can tell almost instantly if the woman is classy or cheap. I want a woman who is confident, not insecure and thinks she needs to attract me by offering up free sex. What healthy, heterosexual man doesn’t want or enjoy sex with a woman? But I don’t want someone that everyone else has enjoyed. A classy woman is intriguing, mysterious and alluring. Her appearance and the way she carries herself can be very appealing. There’s a huge difference between sexy and sleazy; and unfortunately many woman don’t know the difference.”

Ladies wise up! If you don’t understand why you keep attracting the wrong men, it’s because your standards are too low. Set the bar higher. Do not engage in innuendos or blatant conversation that is sexual in nature. Just don’t do it. You may think you are flirting; but what you are doing is sending a signal to the man that you’re easy. You may hook him for a time. You may both be filled with infatuation, but it won’t last. Men will look at you as the good time gal; not as a keeper.

What are you wearing? Low rise jeans and tummy shirts are in. They’re not in if you don’t have the body to wear that style of clothing and they’re not in if you’re trying to convince the men that you’re a classy lady. That is not to say you need to haul out the turtle neck sweaters and long skirts which cover up your ankles.

You will not be able to change your belief system overnight; your views on what men want. But what you can change almost instantly is how you dress and how you talk. Decide today that you will not openly discuss sex or make comments of a sexual nature with men. There are ways you can let someone know you’re interested without sounding like a hootchie mamma. And lastly, take inventory of your wardrobe. Leave a little to the imagination, don’t show it all.

Men want a classy woman.

Anniversary Ideas For Everyone

Are you about to celebrate a special anniversary with the one you love? Whether you have been together one year or fifty years it is important to celebrate the day in a special and memorable way. Sometimes, as much as you want to bless the one you love in a unique way, it is hard to come up with great anniversary ideas. One of the best ways to think of ideas can be to take a look back through the years of your relationship.

You will be surprised by how many perfect annivesary ideas you come up with simply by remembering special parts about the earliest parts of your time together. For instance, can you remember back to the first date the two of you shared? If so, try to recreate the date over again as a way of celebrating how far you've come. If you are still in the same city this kind of anniversary idea will be much easier to pull off.

Do you remember the first song the two of you danced to or the first film you saw together? Great anniversary ideas are sometimes as simple as renting that first film again or tracking down that old love song and dancing to it again. You will bless and probably surprise your special someone by your planning and the creativity you put into making great anniversary ideas happen.

Brainstorming other anniversary ideas can be easy when you simply think about the things that you and the one you love enjoy doing together. Consider planning a getaway weekend to an area that you have both wanted to visit. Or take your special someone on the cruise they have always wanted to go on. Be extravagant and do everything you can afford to make sure your anniversary is special. Do you love to hike and spend time in the mountains? Perhaps the best anniversary ideas for you would include a camping trip or renting out a cabin in the mountains that you love. Look for ways to incorporate things you already love to do together.

Celebrating anniversaries can be one of the best ways to keep the spark alive in your relationship. When you remember where you have been and all of the hard times that you have gotten through together it will be easy to celebrate a variety of anniversary ideas that come to your head. And perhaps the most important thing to remember as you try to gather and narrow down anniversary ideas is that in the end all that will matter is that you and the one you love get to spend quality
time together.

Getting Ready: For Women

Most women reading this are thinking that they already know how to get ready for a date, and this is a similar situation. While that’s true, you may want to read this over anyways to make sure that some little details are attended to.

When You’re In The Shower

You will want to take a shower because a bath might make you sleepy for the rest of the evening—and you don’t want that.

Before you get into the shower, make sure that you have a razor, shaving scream, face soap, and anything else that you normally need. With everything on your mind right now, you don’t want to have to keep getting out for things that you have forgotten.

Wash your body very carefully first. You can scrub with one of those poofy sponges and some bath gel for a light, clean scent. You will want to use lukewarm water so that your skin doesn’t dry out too much.

Wash your hair carefully and don’t use too much conditioner. If your hair is generally clean to begin with, you may even want to skip this step. Hair that is slightly dirty is much easier to style.

After you’ve been in the shower for a while, you’re ready to shave. Shave your legs completely and don’t forget the underarms. Of course, you can omit these steps altogether for personal preference.

Another Shaving Question

Most women want to know if they should shave their private area completely.

This is completely up to you and your comfort level. One thing to note is that if you’ve never done it before this night, it will not end well. This skin is very sensitive and you could end up with a nasty rash.

If you are planning on giving it a try, you will want to start the process out a few weeks a head of time. Start by trimming the hair down and then go ahead and use a razor, depilatory, or wax (ouch). Or you can go to a salon to have this done.

A lot of men like the ‘bare’ approach, while other men prefer a half and half layout. It’s interesting to note that the less there is, the more excited you can get. Just a thought.

Dressing It Up

Get out your best lingerie ladies. This is the time for the ‘fun’ stuff that’s been sitting in your drawer. Or maybe you want to buy something special for the occasion. A nice bra and panty set is best.

Wear a nice outfit that is revealing, but in a classy way. You may feel comfortable showing a little cleavage, but you may want to keep it subtle when you’re wearing a short skirt.

Makeup Or Not?

Since it’s going to be an exciting night, you do want to put a little makeup on to make yourself look fantastic. Like the clothes, you will want to play up your best features.

A nice dark lipstick (if it looks good on you) is best with softer makeup on the rest of the face.

You may also want to consider waterproof and smudge resistance makeup to keep the look on until you get home.

Seven Marriage Spice Ups

Ask the Marriage Maven: Seven Marriage Spice Ups

Q. My marriage is getting pretty dull. My husband and I are going through a low point where everything seems to be pretty boring. What are some things that we can do to spice up our marriage?

D.M.

A. First of all know that every marriage goes through it's high and low points. You guys are just in a natural part of the cycle. With that said, here are a few suggestions to make your marriage a little more interesting.

1) Stop complaining about the state of your union. Create an action plan for change and write it down. It’s okay if you’re the only one willing to spice things up at first. In time you’ll find that your spouse will be receptive to the changes you’ve made, especially if you don’t point out your changes or nag your spouse about changing.

2) I can’t say it enough, turn off the T.V. at least 30-45 minutes a day and spend time with each other. No distractions.

3) Date each other as if you weren’t married. Dress up, wear make up, cologne/perfume. Recreate your early years. Meet each other on site and pretend as though you’re meeting for the first time—or have your partner pick you up from work or home. The whole idea is to go all out.

4) Do nice things for each other. Completing chores around the house that your spouse hates doing is a great place to start.

5) Make a point to have a “second” honeymoon at least once a year. Any time from three days to two weeks is good. Even if you can’t get away, you can make a paradise at home. Make work take a back seat, and get someone to watch the kids (and even your pets). The point is to spend your focus on each other for a few days.

6) Live each day as though it were your last. Make sure you say the things you want to say to your spouse today and do the things you want to do for your spouse today. Don’t hold back a good word or a good deed when you know it can do a wonder for your relationship.

7) Take care of yourself. This tip is probably the most important. Make sure that your spiritual, emotional, psychological and physical batteries are charged. If you need to spend some time doing a hobby, visiting with some friends, or pampering yourself, do it! So long as your “me” time is in moderation, you’ll feel a lot healthier, and your relationship will reflect it.

Before You Say I Do

One out of every two marriages ends in divorce. Millions of Americans are filing for divorce.  As the divorce rate continues to escalate in America, dating relationships are becoming more popular.

Social scientists have led us in the wrong direction, as they embrace incorrect solutions to a momentous problem. They are sending forth a message that is misleading pertaining to dating relationships. This message by social scientists will continue to mislead individuals who sincerely want to establish healthy dating relationships, with the hope of embracing an everlasting marriage.  In this article, we will explore the truth behind the soaring divorce rate. In our search for a remedy, we are spending billions of dollars annually chasing illusionary solutions.

In the previous article, “The Art of Selection”, we explored how the selection process is retarded when selecting our dating partners.  One’s selfish soul perverts the meaning of dating that may lead to marriage by focusing on imagination and desires.  Take a step further; let us look at imaginary pleasures and security. Trapped in the fairy tale syndrome, we pursue dating and love relationships in an effort to receive immediate and future gratification from our dating partners. The selfish soul commits acts that weaken the foundation of a healthy relationship from the very start.  The potential dating partner commits blameworthy acts to make a good impression. He/she gives a misleading representation of oneself, being overly kind, spending extravagantly, being conscious of one’s physical appearance, always appearing truthful, having late night telephone marathons, and displaying a disposition of caring and commonality of interests are commonplace when painting a handsome picture of deception. In one’s effort to insure the acquisition of his/her desires, he/she resorts to deception to consummate personal relationships that eventually end in disaster. This activity is the beginning of the breakdown in the marriage union before a potential marriage couple says, “I do”.

Before marriage and during the courtship, the relationship seems magical. Every day is a heartwarming experience. It feels so surreal and no one likes to be aroused from a dream. This state of elation takes total control of us, blocking out any semblance of rational thought. Helplessly hypnotized, we become a servant to an oppressive master, our own desires. We absorb this form of deception similar to a sponge that absorbs water that eventually transforms into tears.

Allowing our desires to be the criteria to make decisions exposes us to the most destructive form of a relationship.  It becomes impossible to be fair, just, equitable, impartial, unprejudiced, unbiased, objective or dispassionate with others or ourselves. If the family structure is the foundation of society, then we must rethink our strategy when approaching a serious relationship.

As the dawn of reality rushes in and the dusk of deception slowly fades away, reflecting the light of reason, it becomes apparent we are in an undesirable dating relationship.  It is no surprise that our mate’s disposition changes. He/she goes from being overly kind to being overly aggressive, mentally and physically. Sexual passion dissipates, extravagant spending dissolves, the truth becomes lies, commonality of interest changes to two strangers passing by one another in the night, and the list of deceptions continues to unfold.

Safety In Chat Rooms

Chat rooms are all the rage on the world wide web. They offer web surfers with a way to connect with people who share a similar hobby or interest, discuss careers and advice, etc. But, chat rooms are also commonly used for other purposes and this includes online dating. If participated in using common sense, chat rooms can be a lot of fun. But, there are several ways to ensure that your chat room experience is not one to regret.

When talking with individuals in chat rooms, never give out your home telephone number. Why? Because individuals can use your telephone number in a reverse lookup and gain your mailing address, thereby finding out where you live.

Do not give out your home address in online chat rooms. This is a recipe for disaster and the reason is because you do not know who is in the chat room or who is watching and you do not want perfect strangers to know where you live.

Never announce your daily schedule in chat rooms. Not that anyone would knowingly do this, in part because it makes no sense, but users must be careful of how they answer certain questions. If you are a college student and mention a specific class, someone could ask what college you attend and ask what time your class is later on in the conversation. Without even realizing it, you have told a room full of strangers where you will be and what time you will be there. For obvious reasons, this is probably not the best idea.

A lot of people do this, but caution should be given when sending a photograph to anyone in chat rooms. Everyone likes to have a face to go with the name of their new friend, which is understandable, but try to avoid sending a picture to everyone and anyone that you meet in chat rooms.

As a final thought for safety in chat rooms, common sense will get your through the process safely. The internet is a wonderful way to meet new friends and can provide an outlet for people to find comfort in the shoulder of a stranger, but there are important rules to follow when using chat rooms. If the topics become extreme or the conversation turns strange in any way, sign out and ignore the individual with whom you were just talking. Using chat rooms as a hobby can be a lot of fun, but never allow it to become your entire social circle.

Kissing tips

We've all had those moments where we were with someone we liked and somewhere on the back of our mind we kept wondering how do we kiss that person? Do we ask them? Do we just go for the kiss? Do we wait? If so, how long?

These questions can be quite discouraging due to not knowing exactly what to do next to bring yourself closer to that special someone.

There are, however, a few key steps and signs that we can watch out for and do to increase the probability of bringing ourselves closer to that special someone.

For guys:

When you're out with a girl on a date and you and her walking around or just talking, you have to understand that you're the one who has to make a move! Girls are told by society that they have to be passive and receptive (not as much after shows such as Sex and the City). Thus, she is expecting you to take charge in escalating the touching that will eventually lead to a kiss.

When you're out with her, be the first one to take her hand! Taking her hand is the first step towards bringing yourself closer to her. If she's comfortable, you can escalate non-intrusive touching a little later, such as touching her shoulders or hugging her. As you progress doing this and watch her grow more and more comfortable with your touch, you have much better chance of kissing her successfully, rather than just going for the kiss out of the blue. When you built this kind of touching comfort, get her and yourself into some sort location where two of you could either sit or stand and talk comfortably. As two of you talk, start stroking her hair softly and look into her eyes. If you feel that she's comfortable with that, move in closer and closer. If she doesn't withdraw, go for the kiss, since if she's comfortable with you touching her hair and standing so closely, most likely at that point she already wants to kiss you anyway. If she withdraws or acts weirded out, relax for a bit and continue building comfort with her. Resume normal conversation and try again later.

For girls:

Usually girls are viewed as the ones who are kissed, rather than the ones that kiss. It's really a matter of personal preference and personal set of beliefs as to how you want to go about this.

Most guys are very shy about kissing a girl for the first time, so you might try to make him feel comfortable by accepting his touch or even initiating non-intrusive touching yourself, such as holding his hand or hugging him and being close to him. If he feels like you're accepting him and enjoy his company and being close to him, he'll most likely go for the kiss.

If you want to kiss him, it's going to be rather tricky, since some guys might feel you're too aggressive to hang out with. If he's super shy, you can simply tell him you want to kiss him, and let him kiss you. This way you preserve his male ego and still get kissed :)

For both:

Kissing should be light and bring pleasure to both partners. Don't rush too fast and start shoving your tongue down his or her throat. Just relax your tongue and softly touch your partner’s lips and tongue. Just barely touching, almost sliding. The kiss should feel light, yet passionate. As two of you get comfortable kissing, you can progress to more aggressive and deep kind of kissing, such as French kissing. French kissing is essentially the kind of kiss where there is lots of tongue and sucking action.

Conclusion: Just let if flow and let it come to you naturally. Build touch comfort over time and when the time is right, try to move closer to your partner so that the kiss can naturally happen.

Actions Of Love

Myrna, 38 and a successful physician, sought my help because she often felt inadequate. While she really valued herself as a doctor, she did not value herself in her important relationships with friends and family. In addition, she said she wanted to be in a loving relationship but she took no actions to meet available men.

In the course of our work together, it became apparent that Myrna rarely took loving action in her own behalf with her friends and family. For example, Jessica, one of Myrna’s friends, would often get angry and blame Myrna when Myrna was not available for dinner with Jessica. Myrna would feel guilty and responsible for Jessica’s feelings and meet her for dinner even when she was exhausted from work. Myrna would feel drained after these dinners and depressed for a few days after, never realizing it was because she had not taken loving care of herself.

Myrna realized that the reason she was afraid to be in a relationship was because she had no idea how to take care of herself around others. She was terrified of completely losing herself in an important relationship. She realized that if she could not speak up for herself with Jessica, how could she ever speak up and take loving action for herself with a man she was in love with? She realized that she would continue to feel lonely, anxious, inadequate and depressed until she learned to take loving action for herself.

Many people suffer daily from anxiety, depression, stress, and anger as well as from feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy. The major cause of these feelings is a lack of loving action in their own behalf.

Loving actions fall into two categories: Loving actions for yourself and loving actions in relationship to others.

LOVING ACTIONS FOR YOURSELF

Loving actions for yourself are those actions that attend to your own needs. When you take loving action in your own behalf, you are letting yourself know that you matter, you are important, you count. When you fail to take loving action, you give yourself the message that you are not important, which leads to feelings of depression and inadequacy.

Loving actions for yourself might include:

* Eating nutritious foods, avoiding junk food and sugar, eating when hungry and stopping when full.
* Getting enough exercise.
* Keeping your work and home environments clean and organized.
* Getting enough sleep.
* Creating a balance between work and play. Making sure you have time to get your work done, as well as time to do nothing, reflect, learn, play and create.
* Creating a good support system of people who love and care about you.
* Being organized with your time, getting places on time, paying bills on time, and so on.
* Choosing to be compassionate with yourself rather than judgmental toward yourself.
* Creating a balance between time for yourself and time with others.
* Making sure you are physically safe by wearing a seat belt in a car, a helmet on a motorcycle, scooter, or bike, goggles when necessary, and so on.

LOVING ACTIONS IN RELATIONSHIP TO OTHERS

Loving actions in relationship to others might include:

* Being kind and compassionate toward others without compromising your own integrity or ignoring your own needs and feelings.
* Saying no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes, rather than giving yourself up and going along with something you don’t want to do, or automatically resisting what another wants from you.
* Taking care of your own needs instead of trying to change and control others. Accepting your lack of control over others and either accepting them as they are or not being around them.
* Speaking your truth about what is acceptable to you and what is unacceptable and then taking action for yourself based on your truth.
* Taking personal responsibility for your own feelings and needs, instead of being a victim and making others responsible for your feelings and needs.
* Creating a balance between giving and receiving, rather than a one-way street with another person.

As a result of learning to take better care of herself alone and with others, Myrna no longer felt depressed and inadequate. She gradually lost her fears of being in a relationship, and is delighted to be meeting available men.